


Hold on to Something

by Secretness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Angst, Dark, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt Castiel, M/M, Torture, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5325911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretness/pseuds/Secretness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an angel breaks, faith is all he has, but after God abandoned them, he no longer possessed even that.<br/>"I can save you, Castiel," Lucifer whispered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold on to Something

Screaming, the screaming was constant. It never stopped. Castiel didn’t even think it lessened long enough for breath. How long Lucifer had him before he was diluted into misunderstanding his own screams, he had no clue. Demons came, new ones every time. They stripped their little angel of hope, faith, dignity, and skin. Pain, true pain, was something he had never known first hand, and now he couldn’t imagine a time without it. Holy fire had melted the skin of his fingers together and trailed black grooves through exposed muscle, but it was nothing compared to the burn of the sigil scratched collar on his neck, anchored to a steak in the concrete floor of the dim, empty room.

And then Lucifer would step in, exuding confidence, power, and fury, and with a touch of  
his angelic grace, vanquished the demons. He called them unclean and vile and unworthy to even look at his little brother, like it wasn’t he who let them in, like it wasn’t he who told them to tarnish those pearly white wings. 

“I can save you, Castiel,” Lucifer purred, kneeling on the cement. His fingers gently pushed through Castiel’s hair, “All this pain, it’s not necessary. Our brothers and sisters who followed me so long ago are dead, and those in Heaven want to lock me away. But not you. You are different. You belong with me, little one. I can heal your pain, will always heal you. I would never turn on you like they did.”

Lucifer’s fingers gently caressed Castiel’s cheek, and suddenly the pain was gone. It was like breathing new life. A sob of relief tore out of him every time, and Lucifer would ask him what he believed in. 

“God,” Castiel would say, every time, even though he tasted the lie. Until he said nothing at all. Then he refused the words in silence. Until he would have given anything for Lucifer to touch him, to take his pain away. But he couldn’t. This was the Devil, Satan, Lucifer, the angel that nearly tore apart Heaven. He just couldn’t.

“Tell me, who holds your faith now?” whispered Lucifer, the smile heard in his voice.

Castiel jerked, contracting in the middle, a whimper tearing out of him. Fingertips brushed his skin, but he could barely feel them until they dragged through the inch wide gash in his side. It burned and seared. Some part of him tensed automatically even though it pulled at every slice and broken bone, like the wrongness of it forced him to move. The fingers dug in, crushing through bloody tissue, making him grunt.

“Who holds your faith?”

Words tried to leave Castiel, but blood leaked and coughed from between his lips onto the stone floor smashed with his face.

“What was that?” asked Lucifer.

His hand wrapped around Castiel’s upper arm and yanked him onto his back, slamming his shoulder down. Those two freshly bloodied fingers touched to the base of his throat, and he gasped. A significant portion of the pain in his chest relaxed, and the blood in his throat cleared. Still, sear from his Holy fire wounds didn’t make breathing exactly easy. He gasped out one word, eyes rolled and back arched up in anguish.

“One more time,” said Lucifer, the grin back, cupping a hand around his ear.

“Dean… Dean Winchester.”

Castiel’s voice was weak and cracked. He hadn’t thought about his answer. True, his father’s intentional absence during a time of such turmoil and loss shook him. Now, all the praying and begging into silence, against the vicious laughter of demons and Lucifer himself as they tore out pieces of his sanity with every pound of flesh and spark of light--now he doubted his father ever cared for any of them. Some small piece of consciousness told him that was the Devil’s plan, he was made to feel such things, that he was supposed to understand that Lucifer was here, going to help, could alone ease pain. God was not there, consistently so much so Lucifer was confident no matter how much Castiel screamed, nothing would happen. Now Castiel knew it too. 

But it wasn’t just Lucifer that was tangible. There were more choices than God or Devil. It wasn’t until the name left his lips that he even gave it thought, but as soon as his own words met his ears, he knew they were true. Never had he been so certain, so solid in any faith. If there was one thing in all of Heaven, Hell, and Earth Castiel believed in, he believed in Dean.

**Author's Note:**

> Never done a short story or a drabble before. :S
> 
> Not intended Destiel, but could be


End file.
